Tired
It's just one of those days...crazy weather, scheduling mishaps, hurtful words and e-mails, total fatigue, couldn't find parking in the city, traffic, the whole shibang (is that how you spell that word?)
I am definitely feeling the spiritual attack upon me. I just sense so much opposition to me. I can't get my life centered on God right now. It' s like my life is this storm and I'm just trying to find the eye of it and align myself to that center so I can have peace and calmness in my heart, but I can't. It's been so hard to walk consistently with God. Each time I try to get my feet walking, I trip up and my anger gets the best of me, frustration and impatience sets in or my eyes wander to where they shouldn't be looking
I knew raising my support was going to be hard, but I didn't think it was going to be this hard. I knew I would struggle with doubts and fears, but how about the nonsense of life that just wears your spirit down? No...I didn't anticipate that. And yet that seems to be the biggest factor weighing me down. I'm tired, God...so tired.
I was listening to a sermon my friend gave me in the car yesterday and it was great. It was all about faith and how we have mustard seed faith that needs to grow. I can relate to the man that couldn't believe in Jesus' healing power and said, "Lord! Help my unbelief!" That's me! Lord, help my unbelief! I despair so often and I lose sight of hope.
My heart is heavy...pray for me my friends...that my eyes would be lifted up to the heavens and that I would operate with joy day in and day out and refuse to operate without it. It's a joy to serve the Lord and I've been forgetting that through the everday drudgeries of life. The Lord was in this world, tempted in every way, yet without sin. Wow...what a mighty God we serve. How He could resist every temptation there was in the world is a mystery to me. But maybe that's why He's God :)
Pray for me in this way my brothers and sisters. Pray for my spiritual protection against the enemy, my flesh and this world. Pray that I may be fully armored each day. For I've been feeling the attacks of the enemy penetrating through my heavenly armor. Perhaps I have not worn it properly or learned to use the tools of spiritual warfare properly.
One last thing...I praise God for this verse that gives me hope. I heard it on Easter Sunday morning from the preacher who came to speak at Boon Church. He was speaking on the great "resurrection chapter," 1 Corinthians 15.
This verse gives me hope. But yet as Paul says,
My hope is placed in the belief that there is more to come. There is heaven where there will be no more tears of pain, no more sorrow, no more injustice, the hunger pangs of our souls, suffering and sin. But if we find out at the end of our lives that Christ is not who we believed Him to be, we are mere fools, placing our trust in something that wasn't real. And we should've squandered all our living on whatever we wanted to. But there is a hope.
Do we look like we're living for another life to come? Or are we just like everyone else, going after the same things, making the same money, going for the same goals, seeking the same possessions, but just slapping a Christian label on it all and saying that's what makes us different? May we not be. May we look like those who are so sold out for Christ it's clearly evident we don't live for the earthly pleasures in the here and now and are looking for our eternal reward.
Let us live for Christ and look like those who if at the end of their lives found out that there was no Christ, we would be pitied by all men because we did not live for ourselves, but lived for Him who is above. Give us this kind of faith. Give us this kind of love, Lord. I want to be counted as one who walks the walk and doesn't just talk the talk
I am definitely feeling the spiritual attack upon me. I just sense so much opposition to me. I can't get my life centered on God right now. It' s like my life is this storm and I'm just trying to find the eye of it and align myself to that center so I can have peace and calmness in my heart, but I can't. It's been so hard to walk consistently with God. Each time I try to get my feet walking, I trip up and my anger gets the best of me, frustration and impatience sets in or my eyes wander to where they shouldn't be looking
I knew raising my support was going to be hard, but I didn't think it was going to be this hard. I knew I would struggle with doubts and fears, but how about the nonsense of life that just wears your spirit down? No...I didn't anticipate that. And yet that seems to be the biggest factor weighing me down. I'm tired, God...so tired.
I was listening to a sermon my friend gave me in the car yesterday and it was great. It was all about faith and how we have mustard seed faith that needs to grow. I can relate to the man that couldn't believe in Jesus' healing power and said, "Lord! Help my unbelief!" That's me! Lord, help my unbelief! I despair so often and I lose sight of hope.
My heart is heavy...pray for me my friends...that my eyes would be lifted up to the heavens and that I would operate with joy day in and day out and refuse to operate without it. It's a joy to serve the Lord and I've been forgetting that through the everday drudgeries of life. The Lord was in this world, tempted in every way, yet without sin. Wow...what a mighty God we serve. How He could resist every temptation there was in the world is a mystery to me. But maybe that's why He's God :)
"...keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel." (Ephesians 6:18, 19)
Pray for me in this way my brothers and sisters. Pray for my spiritual protection against the enemy, my flesh and this world. Pray that I may be fully armored each day. For I've been feeling the attacks of the enemy penetrating through my heavenly armor. Perhaps I have not worn it properly or learned to use the tools of spiritual warfare properly.
One last thing...I praise God for this verse that gives me hope. I heard it on Easter Sunday morning from the preacher who came to speak at Boon Church. He was speaking on the great "resurrection chapter," 1 Corinthians 15.
"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."
(1 Cor. 15:58)
This verse gives me hope. But yet as Paul says,
"If in this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied." (1 Cor. 15:19)
My hope is placed in the belief that there is more to come. There is heaven where there will be no more tears of pain, no more sorrow, no more injustice, the hunger pangs of our souls, suffering and sin. But if we find out at the end of our lives that Christ is not who we believed Him to be, we are mere fools, placing our trust in something that wasn't real. And we should've squandered all our living on whatever we wanted to. But there is a hope.
Do we look like we're living for another life to come? Or are we just like everyone else, going after the same things, making the same money, going for the same goals, seeking the same possessions, but just slapping a Christian label on it all and saying that's what makes us different? May we not be. May we look like those who are so sold out for Christ it's clearly evident we don't live for the earthly pleasures in the here and now and are looking for our eternal reward.
Let us live for Christ and look like those who if at the end of their lives found out that there was no Christ, we would be pitied by all men because we did not live for ourselves, but lived for Him who is above. Give us this kind of faith. Give us this kind of love, Lord. I want to be counted as one who walks the walk and doesn't just talk the talk
Strength for today. Strength for tomorrow.
Loving you always. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Loving you always. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
This entry was posted by Christopher Wu, on
Sunday, April 03, 2005.
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10:44 AM
Chris- Just want to let you know I'm praying for you. I catch a glimpse of the hardship of support raising. It is most definitely a minute by minute battle to keep your eyes focused on the greatest of our treasures, that is Christ. I will be praying that God plants your feet firmly on the route that points to him, that he would guide you in running the race and give you the strength to perservere. I wil lpray that you are slow to anger and abounding in love.
Thus says the Lord, Stand at the crossroads,and look, ask for the ancient paths, where the good way lies; and walk in it,and find rest for your souls. Jeremiah 6:16
8:24 PM
thanks so much for your encouragement! I wish I knew who you were to thank you for praying for me! If you would't mind telling me, you can e-mail me directly at chrisw@keynote.org. If you'd rather stay anonymous, that's cool too, but I want to thank you personally whoever you are! You are a blessing and it's really great and encouraging to know people are praying for me and have a burden for my ministry. praise the Lord